Archive | April, 2010

music mommas

19 Apr

i did a whole lot of movie watching over the weekend. my roommate and i decided to watch, but i’m a cheerleader, directed by jamie babbit. it’s been playing on showtime for a little bit. it’s been years since i have seen this movie and it’s john water’s-like art direction and campy gay characters are still wonderful. natasha lyonne and clea duvall do a great job showcasing a teenage girl love story.  i had forgotten how utterly sweet they are together. there is this little love scene between the two with a song called Glass Vase Cello Case performed by Tattle Tale playing in the background.

heart melting. so i thought i’d see what tattle tale has been up to.  madigan shive and jen wood made up the duo when they were mere kids themselves. they formed moon puss records, which is actually a very clever name.  they have since gone their separate ways and in fact, madigan shive is playing a show here in l.a. in a couple of weeks. i might just stop by to see what she can really do with a cello.

i really do love the cello. and when a lady plays the cello, it’s like watching a lady play a lady. sublime

To the Mathmos with this winged fruitcake!

18 Apr

do these shoes make me look gay?

god i love these shoes. i feel like they need to come out of my closet with me and wear them in remembrance of the day god gifted the earth with a rainbow after killing everything and everyone on this blessed earth. remember that? or maybe they need to celebrate the fact that summer is upon us and gay pride’s are starting this weekend (vegas and phoenix). or maybe i just need them to come out so that i can reclaim my own lesbian self. naturally these shoes are not just for gay girls, but…. come on, most of us can’t help but at least have a fleeting thought about “the gays” whenever a rainbow is used decoratively. i always have loved expressing myself with shoes- this just takes it to a whole other level.

*** shoes are by shelly’s of london

just fucking friday

16 Apr

i have really been into break up music lately. perhaps it was last weekend’s inspiration. but to be honest i have a whole lot of music that revolves around dissolving relationships.  i have a theory about this. i really think that when we go through something huge like heartbreak or a death (and sometimes they feel the same) we tap into something, almost like a passion that is stronger than love even. we learn about ourselves, we learn about the other person, the world suddenly unravels itself to us a little more. and if you happen to be a musician i think this is the best time to write some music. and other people respond to that fervency whether it’s rage or infatuation.  lately i’ve been listening to frightened rabbit’s the midnight organ fight album and um….it’s brilliant. i’m obsessed with their song my backward’s walk. oh. my. god. “I’m working hard on walking out. Shoes keep sticking to the ground. My clothes won’t let me close the door. These trousers seem to love your floor. You’re the shit and i’m knee deep in it.”

but it’s their song keep yourself warm that i really wanted to talk about.

Oh, you won’t find love in a,
Won’t find love in a hole.
It takes more than fucking someone to keep yourself warm.
I’m drunk, I’m drunk
And you’re probably on pills
If we’ve both got the same diseases
It’s irrelevant girl
And the room fills with steam
Oh, evaporates disappears
My point of entry is the same way
That I leave

so yeah, you won’t find love in a hole. i like the bluntness of that line. but it got me thinking about sex and love. so love and sex can be two separate entities. or they can be the same. sex is like this primal sort of need. is love? i mean i feel like everyone wants to be loved, but does everyone need to have love? am i lacking or suffering as a person if i don’t have a person in my life that loves me and to whom i reciprocate that love? and where does sex fit in? i sort of believe sex is better when you are in love with the person, but then again i don’t have much to go on. and i might be brainwashed.  i can honestly say i’ve never just fucked someone just because, probably out of fear more than anything else, not because i believe it’s wrong or amoral. i just don’t even think i would know how to do that. and sometimes i wish i would. you know, be a little reckless, wake up the next morning full of regret. alas, i never did those things that most normal people did in late adolescence and maybe that’s okay too. well it has to be. so fucking and sex and love, shame, regret and holes are all just the way it is.

singin hallelujah with a fear in your heart

14 Apr

i’ve been catching up on the tudors, since the final season started on showtime sunday night. i love this show because i think it does a particularly good job showing how personal greed and desire for power is what really drives politics. it demonstrates how one side is not all good and the other not all bad. there is a whole lot of grey area. there is also a whole lot of ugly.  the reformation essentially began with henry VIII, because he wanted a divorce. he got his divorce and an excommunication from the catholic church.

(yeah that’s hollywood sexy anne boleyn- henry wanted to marry that girl! and then he had her decapitated later. boo.)

it’s sort of amazing to think what this western world would be like if the catholic church still had the kind of clutches on people that it did in those days. i know the catholic church is still frighteningly powerful, but it is not like it used to be. thank god. or whatever. because they represent a lot of pain for a lot of people. for example: cardinal tarsicio bertone decided it was important to tell the world that homosexuality is directly related to pedophilia. interesting. so yeah, i personally don’t have any direct ties to the catholic church, nor does my family not for decades and decades anyway. and i’m glad. it’s ignorant, perverse and untrue comments like these that cause irreparable damage.  a couple of years ago when i was in grad school i was astounded and hurt that if a topic regarding anything LGBT related came up, the conversation almost invariably went in the direction of pedophilia. in one such discussion, i brought this point up. of course i was chastised and told that was not the point of the discussion and no one was accusing gays of being perverts. but i reiterated that one must question WHY the two topics often went hand in hand, preceded one another, spoke of in the same breath.  this was offensive and should be considered, not just brushed aside.  after class, one of my cohort came up to me and thanked me.  she said i was absolutely right and she had never ever even thought about it or the negative impact it has- especially in a supposed academic forum. so yeah catholic church- take that. you may have a voice that effects thousands, but i have one too even if it only effects one.

music mommas

12 Apr

you know when you are staying with friends and their bad relationship is dripping gooey yuck all over the place? yeah. for reals.  don’t get me wrong, i had a great weekend. and had a most gracious host and i get it…. i mean i’ve been in that position where your gf/bf/whatever calls you and you try and hide it from your friends. uck. that’s a bad place to be. or you are just hiding the relationship altogether. wow. yeah, i’ve been there too. so my friend’s terribly depressing “relationship” has inspired music mommas today. i sure love a break up song. i really do.

miss emmylou harris– a long time love of mine sings, better off without you.

Room 16, the Palms Motel

Now I can rest behind that door

My life with you’s become a living hell

Don’t wanna live like that no more

And whatever it will take

I will do to make this final break

i love a lady that’s all silver

i was able to see her perform a song at the grammy’s one year- it was honestly a musical performance highlight in my life.

Prepare to insert nourishment.

8 Apr

weird week. sometimes i can be a bit sensitive and with all that’s going on right now i feel a little flustered. there’s the whole don’t ask don’t tell debacle, poor constance was sent to a fake prom, apparently you can be an “ex-gay,” (more on that another time), the catholic church. yeah i said it. the catholic church. sigh. and then i was watching jamie oliver’s, food revolution. it’s a new program he’s doing about kicking america’s fat ass. and it’s pretty amazing. and sad.

so i’m going to go away for the weekend and i’m not going to think about anything at all. bring on the blank’s a red panda- the cutest thing alive!

manic monday

5 Apr

too much ham. lot’s of rain. an earthquake and a wee bit of alcohol make this a rough morning.

i had a music blast from the past on saturday though and wanted to share. i was enjoying a quaint lunch with my brother and i heard leavin’ on a jet plane, the Chantal Kreviazuk version.

i am a huge, huge john denver fan. i grew up listening to him. i have these great memories of going on road trips with my dad where we would listen to john denver tapes for hours. it’s sort of a vivid memory down to the type of candy he would buy for me. good dad memories. so when i heard this version of denver’s song many years ago, i have to admit i was skeptical. but she really did a great job, did the song and artist justice in my mind. so when i heard this song playing while i was shoveling vietnamese food in my mouth i was immediately transplanted to my 5 year old self, sitting in the truck next to my dad listening to jd.

fridays are fucking fabulous

2 Apr

oh religion.

i’ve talked a little about my relationship with religion and one thing i try to be careful of is making really definitive statements- i feel like they always come in bite you in the ass. but i am always tempted to make strong, really strong statements about religion. but mostly i just say this, “no thanks.” and i don’t care what religion it is, or how lovely and inclusive or free thinking and peaceful it may seem. for me, right now, i refuse to live within the confines of any religious dogma. and i know some religions “allow” women in their clergy and i know there are some gays preaching the word of god, but i also know what it’s like to be a part of a system that inspires free thinkers to subject themselves to harmful and prejudice practices. primarily, self loathing.

hilarious onion article alert! “Gay Teen Worried He Might Be a Christian.”

some may think i’m blasphemous and inconsiderate and that is not the point of this blog or any entry, this is my own personal process. so this weekend i will not be celebrating the resurrection of christ, but i will indeed be celebrating ham!

delicious, delicious ham