Archive | September, 2011

just a monday night

12 Sep

my town shows a free lgbt film on the second monday of every month and tonight they featured the acclaimed Edie & Thea: A Very Long Engagement. a short and poignant documentary that really gets to the meat of marriage as a right. i was so profoundly touched by this film. there were only 12-15 people in the dark theater with me, but based on muffled noises and hurried searches for kleenex, it was clear that most of us were effected similarly by the love story that is Edie & Thea.

right now it is very important for me to see examples of healthy, lasting gay relationships. i was chatting with a friend the other day and she was quite astonished that i had such a bleak and mistrusting take on intimacy. particularly my stance that cheating is fairly common. said friend really challenged what she considers to be my largely erroneous and misguided stance. admittedly, it is based on my own experience, which is limited, but not terribly positive. i wonder about what sort of creature i am. a creature that was hurt in love and now bases most things on that one incredibly unhealthy and painful experience? hence, the need for me to see good examples. i was so touched by this story about two women who loved each other so much. and i’d like to believe, faithfully. such smart, gorgeous, fashionable women. thank you E and T, i really needed this. thank you for an example of love.

directed by the talented susan muska and greata olafsdottir, also partners.

So, my Pretty-Pretty, we meet again.

6 Sep

man i have been thinking about this blog for quite awhile. i had to take a (an?) hiatus i guess. sort of how like the french go on holiday for the last part of the summer? yeah like that. i just needed to collect my thoughts and get right again. shit was getting too personal! you know? i just had to back it up and get organized. so kittens, to keep you abreast basically this is what has been going on: barbie had to shut out the external stimuli and get real with the internal. so a funeral happened. that sucked. a flirtation blossomed and then squashed pretty quickly. a good thing. and some serious closure occurred. a great thing. to celebrate emotional progress i decided to chop chop my hair. a word about this. for some reason (well several) i stopped cutting my hair about 4 years ago. i wanted to grow it out and have long locks. well to be perfectly honest i was avoiding some internal homophobia. who knew hair could be so emotional? actually rose weitz knows a little something about this. she wrote an interesting book titled, Rapunzel’s Daughters: What Women’s Hair Tells Us About Women’s Lives. weitz was actually one of my professors in my undergrad years. i don’t think i fully appreciated her then, in my ultra conservative early 20s. i had this moment when i looked in the mirror after the cut was complete, where i saw myself again. like me. ME. this person that was missing. this woman who i didn’t even realize had been on, well a hiatus of her own, i suppose. as if growing out my hair was this protection. protection against being accused of being gay or too gay. stereotypical. when i chopped my hair this weekend i feel like i got rid of all this shit i had been holding onto for way too long. and i missed me. and i was so glad to see me again. it was so healing. so here i am world. barbie is back. word to the wise, get the fuck out of my way.

a couple of inspirational haircuts:


ginnifer goodwin (lookin good mama!)

michelle williams