Archive | March, 2009

pretty in pink

31 Mar

i’m in love.  i’m in love with pink. can we take a moment?  because there is this issue of pink bows on certain pink bums that we need to take a look at.  i also feel like i’m going through some sort of second adolescence because i want a tattoo, wear short shorts and listen to pop music.  please watch for my favorite pink moment- this video kills me, especially when she basically has sex with herself.  god bless.  click here: sober


i always paint my own reality

28 Mar

oh frida- my favorite bi-sexual of all time.  check out this little dykefrida-kahlo-class. she was her father’s favorite and her father had no sons- so she sort of took on that role, she even went to school dressed as a boy and kept her hair short until her young adulthood.  (rather brave in a suburb of Mexico City in the early 20th century) she eventually met diego, who cheated on her incessantly.  she began to take her own lovers. men and women.  frida was oftentimes open and public about her sex life with her numerous partners. her short life was oftentimes filled with tragedy, but she always painted beauty.  beauty that was non-traditional, beauty that was self revealing, beauty that encompassed at all times her own reality and her own pain.  after her death, diego reportedly stated that he had realized too late that the most wonderful part of his life had been his love for her.


gender bend this

27 Mar

on a recent podcast from NPR music I heard Bonnie “prince” Billy perform, the girl in me.  he described it as a song he wrote about a man who is singing about how he is attracted to the manly things in a woman and she sings about how she is attracted to the womanly things in the man.  it’s a lovely duet with a woman named as Cheyenne.  the music is lovely, but the lyrics really moved me and actually i would like to hear this song sung by two women.

There’s a girl in me
That’s makes me wear bright colors when I walk the streets
And there’s a girl in me that makes me want to feel you deep inside of me
And there’s a girl in me, makes me pose before a mirror, like a movie star
And makes me want to dance around the pole instead of sitting at the bar.

Well the man in me must love the girl in you.

Cause there’s someone in me that sees you without clothes and sees what I should be and heaven only knows what will become of me

Cause there’s a man in me that wants to dominate you
And put you in your place
And there’s a man in me that wishes I had a beard and mustache on my face
And there’s a man in me that gets short of breath in the girls locker room
And wants you to be the bride and me to be the groom

Well the girl in me must love the man in you

Cause there’s someone in me that sees you without clothes and sees what I should be
And heaven only knows what will become of me cause there’s someone in me that other’s knew was not the way that I should be.
God chose for me a color and lord knows that she may not agree
We should explore our mirror sexuality
But we can share our secrets in our privacy.
The girl in me must love the man in you.
The man in me must love the girl in you.
The you in me must love the me in you.

mr. kinsey what do women want?

25 Mar


Move over Kinsey, Ms. Meredith Chivers is here to answer that question.  The New York Times printed an article called, What Do Women Want? and it is a must read.  Dr. Chivers has been conducting sex research with both males and females of all sexual orientations and has some fascinating results.  Essentially she has found that what men say they are attracted to usually matches up with how they respond sexually or genitally.  (They are actually hooked up to a device that measures the erection of the penis).  But women!  oh women!  Women were also hooked up to a device that measured swelling in the vagina and also lubrication.  Women, who identified as straight or gay showed, on the whole, genital arousal when the images projected men with men, women with women and women with men!  Straight women in particular it was noted often did not match up with what they said was turning them on and what their genitals were actually indicating was turning them on! oh how i love this.  Now the article goes on to explore some pertinent and fascinating theories as to why this might be occurring for women, including some primitive biological reasons.  The article quotes Lisa Diamond and Marta Meana who are experts in the research of women’s sexuality and female desire.  All three women conclude that sexuality for women is far more complex then we really know and at this point, scientifically we are still really in the beginning stages of figuring it out.

So what do I want? I can’t answer for all women, but what this women wants is respect, love, and less judgment about who I want to be with and why.

funny ladies

24 Mar

there is nothing i love more than a funny lady.  god bless them every one.  i used to work on a television show which was dominated by male writers (like all television shows).  i was not a writer, by the way, but on more then one occasion i had male coworkers come up to me and tell me that I was funny for a girl.  and when i gave them that look that said, what the fuck did you just say to me? they pandered and usually replied with, no i’m serious.  you are really funny, like funnier then most women.  oh and they meant it.  they truly thought they were complimenting me.  as if i was going to be like, oh my god! coming from a superior sex that is at all times more capable of being funny because it’s something you are born with, you know, like a penis- so yes! yes! thank you for accepting me!  thank you for thinking i was funny. god.  so here is a shout out to some of my heroines.  funny, funny ladies.  to start: my all time idols, the ever untouchable and notoriously naughty, french and saunders.  first of all, they are english- which is just funny anyway.  my first introduction to absolutely fabulous was when i was in high school.  thank god BBC America ran AbFab at like three in the morning or whenever it was we were done with our teenage debauchery.  i can honestly say that show changed me, the wit in which they made fun of mainstream pop culture and how women constantly conform to ridiculous ideas was in a word, genius.  if you have a chance check out Absolutely Fabulous, Gay.  Patsy and Eddy in an odd twist of fate get married by Whoopie Goldberg on a trip to New York during Fashion Week.  absolutely_fabulous_image_jennifer_saunders_joanna_lumley__6_abfab1

Let’s talk about dolls

23 Mar

I have this memory of being a little girl.  I must have been about 4 years old.  We lived in Tempe, AZ and we had that brown shag like carpet that everyone had in the 80s, with the sort of swirl pattern in it (all of my memories of being a kid in Tempe are brown). My dad had a bunch of country records, but my favorite, my very favorite was Dolly.  To me she was the most beautiful woman in the world and even then at my young age I knew she was a bit of a freak show and that made me love her even more.   Anyway I would sit on that weird carpet and put in her records and dance and sing and twirl.  I especially loved the duet with Kenny Rogers.  Dollywood is on my to-do list, but I’m having a hard time finding anyone in my social circle that appreciates her as much as I do, which is confusing and hurtful to me.  She is like an angel.  You know how sometimes you grow up and your angels turn out to be hurtful demons that are part of instituting practices and laws that hurt others?  Yes, well Dolly is still an angel.  From Larry King Live in 2007 in response to her large gay following: “I think it’s great when people accept themselves for exactly who they are and accept other people. I think that’s the key to happiness and success. It doesn’t matter who you are, as long as you do that really good. We’re all God’s children. He loves us all the same. We have to learn to love each other and ourselves a little better.” When asked her opinion of gay marriage, Dolly said jokingly, “gay people should have the right to be as miserable as married straight people are.” oh that precious doll.


armed like a naked savage

21 Mar

god i love this woman, but mostly it’s because i admire that she is never afraid to get frosting, sprinkles or whip cream in her hair.  thank you amy. thank you.

amy_sedaris_nude_prosthetic_arm1 favorite all time quote from strangers with candy: she’s walking down the hall as a 40 something skeezy ex con heading back to high school.  A couple of science loners have sort of befriended her.  In the sweetest nerdiest of ways her friend asks her if she’s thinking about joining the science fair and her reply? “Nah, I’m thinkin’ about pussy. Science fair’s for queers.”  always shocking, always unpredictable, usually offensive and surprisely hilarious.